YOUR DREAM OR THEIRS?

When Supporting Your Young Athlete Becomes Managing Their Career

As parents, we're supposed to believe in our kids.

We're supposed to encourage them, invest in them, drive them to practice, sit through tournaments, celebrate their successes and help pick them up when things don't go their way.

That's part of the job.

But every once in a while, I think sports parents—including myself—need to ask a difficult question:

Whose dream are we chasing?

It usually starts innocently.

Our child shows some talent. A coach notices. Somebody tells us they could be really good.

So we find a better team. Then a trainer. Then another team. Then tournaments and camps.

Before long, we're talking about rankings, exposure, scholarships, Division I and maybe even professional sports.

There's nothing wrong with dreaming alongside your child.

But somewhere along the journey, we have to make sure their dream doesn't quietly become our project.

Because kids change.

The 9-year-old who wants to play in the NBA might become a 15-year-old who loves basketball but doesn't want it controlling their entire life.

The kid who once begged for extra training might eventually want to play another sport. Join a club. Get a job. Spend more time with friends.

Or simply play basketball because they enjoy playing basketball.

That's where parenting gets difficult.

Do we listen?

Or do we start thinking about how much we've invested?

I've watched parents sacrifice an incredible amount for their children's sports. Money. Weekends. Vacations. Sleep. Time.

Most of it comes from love.

But love can unintentionally create expectations.

After everything we've done for you...

Maybe we never actually say those words.

But can our kids still feel them?

That's worth thinking about.

Supporting a young athlete doesn't mean never pushing them.

Sometimes kids need a push. They need somebody telling them to finish what they started. Get up and go to practice. Work harder. Stop making excuses.

That's parenting.

But there's a difference between pushing a child through a difficult moment and pushing them toward a destination they no longer want.

Our job isn't to remove every obstacle.

And it isn't to map out their entire athletic career.

Our job is to help them discover what they're capable of.

Give them opportunities. Give them standards. Give them encouragement. Give them perspective.

Then listen.

Maybe they'll chase Division I.

Help them.

Maybe they'll choose Division III because they love the school.

Support them.

Maybe they'll decide their playing career ends after high school.

Celebrate them.

Because the goal was never supposed to be creating the athlete we wanted.

It was helping develop the person they are becoming.

That's one reason the Play 4 Rings philosophy goes beyond basketball.

Body. Mind. Will.

Sports are the vehicle.

Development is the mission.

And eventually, our kids have to take the wheel.

So before signing up for another team, tournament, trainer or showcase, maybe we should occasionally ask our young athlete a very simple question:

What do YOU want?

Then comes the hard part.

Listen to the answer.

Even if it isn't the answer we were hoping to hear.

Because someday the practices will stop. The uniforms will get packed away. The tournaments will end.

And they'll begin building a life that belongs entirely to them.

Let's make sure the dream belongs to them, too.

Play 4 Rings | Building Triple Threats For LifeTraining the Body, Mind & Will Power for excellence in any arena.